This is a relatively tentative post. I’d welcome your thoughts on it.
Thought and Language
My experience of men and women’s languages?
My sophomore year of college, a friend, who was a senior at the time, posed an interesting question. Being the graceful person she is, she laid a hand across her bed and sighed. “Does it seem to you that this curriculum is geared towards men?”
I paused, not sure what to say. I immediately had the wrong impression; normally when these questions come up, it’s associated with the accusation of sexism. But in class, everyone was respectful of everyone else, regardless of sex. No sexism involved. (For the most part. I’m still occasionally frustrated about our discussion of A Doll’s House, but we’ll talk about that another time.)
It wasn’t until two year’s later, my own senior year, that I started to understand what she was talking about.
Abstract vs. integrated
We studied mostly philosophy; the philosophy of logic, natural philosophy, the philosophy of the soul. The list goes on. And as it goes on, it gets abstract. I liked it. I enjoyed it. I was good at it.
But right around the crown of philosophy, metaphysics, I understood what my friend had meant. The curriculum was geared towards men because abstraction is more the way they think. Women tend to think about integration, to thrive more in applied philosophy, thinking about real people in real situations. Thinking about how this abstract concept will effect each individual life.
When you think so differently, you tend to speak differently, to use your own language. The men were learning to think, and in some ways, the women were learning to think as men do. We were learning to speak men’s language, and the men didn’t even know.
I’m sure it’s similar to the experience of some of the foreign students. Their first languages may be Spanish, Portuguese, or Nepali, but while at school in America, they primarily speak in English. The better they get at it, the less anyone remembers that English isn’t their first language.
In the same way, the better women get at thinking and speaking about abstract thoughts, the less anyone remembers that it’s not her favorite language. And sometimes she can lose sight of it, too.
Again, this isn’t any kind of sexism. I think women are better able to climb inside the heads of others, to learn their metaphorical languages, to know what they want to say, and sometimes what they don’t want to say.
When I was in Spain, most people spoke to me in English. This wasn’t because I thought I was better than them in some way. It was because they knew English and wanted to practice it, and my Spanish was still in-the-works. English was the meeting-ground of our minds, minds that wanted to meet. And that was a gift that we both appreciated.